5 Benefits of Going To Therapy While Working On Your Emotional Eating
One thing you’ll quickly learn and realize when you are working through food and body struggles is that your food and body struggles aren’t usually about food and your body themselves. They go deeper than that.
When working with clients, they’re often shocked at how little we talk about food and how much we talk about their childhood, the relationship they had with their parent(s) or caregiver(s), and how food and body were talked about growing up. That’s in addition to discussing the influence of diet culture and what happens when restriction is present, of course.
That’s because, what you’re exposed to at such a young age sticks and shapes your beliefs about food & your body until you learn otherwise.
Enter: therapy.
When people hear the word “therapy”, they immediately think “broken” or "something to be fixed” or even “crazy”. It’s like when I rave about my Squatty Potty to people and they respond with “but I don’t have trouble pooping”.
The thing is, you don’t need to have trouble pooping, to benefit from a Squatty Potty; just like you don’t need to be sad or feel broken to go to therapy.
I recommend the added element of therapy to all of my clients because it allows you to go deeper and explore the themes that come up in our sessions. Some of the common themes that come up are:
How food was talked about in the house growing up (i.e. “no dessert until you finish everything on your plate”, “there are kids starving in Africa – finish your food”, “wow, you’re a BIG eater!”
Your parent’s relationship with food and their bodies (especially if they were chronic dieters)
How your parents spoke about food and their body in front of you
Comments someone made to you at a young age
We do discuss these things when working one-on-one together, but again, therapy will allow you to go deeper to really explore and debunk these themes.
Whether you have a background in disordered eating or not, there are so many benefits to going to therapy. I’ve done a ton of therapy over the years, including when I first got treatment for my eating disorder, when I went to couple’s therapy and now through BetterHelp as I use it to support myself personally and professionally.
These are 5 benefits of going to therapy I’ve noticed from my own personal experience:
Understanding Why Things Are The Way They Are – There’s a sense of peace and ability to accept ‘what is’ that comes with knowing and understanding. That might sound a bit confusing from the outside if you haven’t done therapy before. I guess the best way to explain it is that if you are holding onto any anger towards a situation or a specific person, therapy will help you to work through it to understand that, most of the time, there is no ill intent towards you, and that there are other factors at hand as to why things played out the way they did (that usually have to do with the person themselves)
Developing Tangible Strategies To Work Through Issues – It’s interesting how we go to school to learn things related to our profession, but when it comes to things like learning how to manage our emotions, these are things that aren’t really taught. The result is miscommunications in relationships and friendships, wrongly blaming ourselves (or others), feeling overwhelmed by our emotions or turning to things like emotional eating (without realizing it) to cope with uncomfortable emotions.
In my online emotional eating support program, The Break Free Method, I talk about how one of the primary reasons people emotionally eat is because they haven’t been taught to sit with uncomfortable emotions such as boredom, stress, sadness or anger. In The Break Free Method, you will learn new strategies to prevent turning to food to soothe uncomfortable emotions.Getting To Offload Your Sh*t – There are few things greater in life than paying someone to offload all of your sh*t. Sure, friends and family are great for that but you have to remember, they are either going to tell you what you want to hear or project their own experiences onto you. A therapist, and a coach, hold space for you to show up exactly as you are and to offload what you need to.
I think there’s a misperception that therapists will tell you what to do with your life (which, maybe that’s what some people want) but the truth is, therapists will probe you through questions that help you bring out the answer yourself.
That aside, having an outlet to offload what’s weighing on you is so valuable. As I mentioned, I’ve been using BetterHelp online therapy for 2+ months now and the way that BetterHelp works is that it’s membership-based therapy so you can have therapy support once a week. I initially thought weekly therapy was too frequent, but I’ve actually come to love it. Some weeks I arrive to my session, I’m not sure what we’re going to talk about and those are always the sessions where the biggest takeaways are. But between leaving my 6+ year relationship last year, leaving my full-time job to work for myself, shedding the “shoulds” and navigating change, there’s usually things for us to talk about (haha!).Being Validated For Your Feelings – There’s nothing more comforting than being validated for the way you feel. Many of us live with inner critics (aka that chatter in our brain that likes to poke and prod at us and make us feel “less than”) and that inner critic has a way of making us believe that we’re wrong for feeling the way we do – but therapists do the opposite.
Therapists validate your experience by reminding you that everything you’re experiencing or thinking is normal (which is more comforting than you’ll ever know when when you’re navigating a time where you feel far from normal). They remind you that your feelings are valid and worthy of honouring. With that, comes the releasing of stress, shame and guilt for feeling the way you do. That alone, is a gift in itself.Walk Away Happier and Lighter – As I’m writing this, I’ve just finished up a therapy session and I can’t tell you how much lighter I feel compared to before when I went into the session. In therapy, you get to leave it all there – your stress, anger, sadness, frustration – whatever it may be. You walk away with strategies to start supporting yourself in the way you need to be supported. And with that, you walk away with hope, a better understanding of yourself and a more nourished relationship with yourself.
You can self-care to no end and drink all the green smoothies in the world, but if you aren’t working to get to the root of things, the issues you’re experiencing will persist.
If you’re interested in trying therapy or looking for a new therapist, I truly can’t recommend BetterHelp online therapy enough. With BetterHelp, you’ll have the opportunity to fill out a survey and will be matched with the most suitable therapist for you. If it’s not a good fit, you can switch with ease. In full disclosure, my first therapist and I were not a great fit and I switched. I now see Marissa Friedman, and I share that specifically with this community as she does have a background in eating disorders/disordered eating if you are looking for someone with that added expertise. But I LOVE her.
The way BetterHelp works is that it’s membership-based therapy so you pay a monthly fee for weekly therapy sessions and unlimited messaging in-between sessions. Your monthly fee will vary based on how you register (I pay monthly, so it’s a bit cheaper than paying weekly – or, you could pay annually and it will be much cheaper than paying monthly). The costs range from $260-350 for the month for 4 sessions ($65-85 session), and since The Fill Your Cup Podcast is a proud partner of BetterHelp, you can save 10% off of your first month of BetterHelp by clicking here (financial aid options are also available).
If you have any other questions about therapy or BetterHelp in general, you’re welcome to comment below, or email me if you would rather keep it confidential at info@rachelmmolenda.com
Your mental health governs so much of your life. It matters. You matter. I hope, if you are in need of support, that you know that it is there waiting for you when you’re ready.